ENTRANCE EXAM & STRESS, WHAT DID I LEARN ABOUT MYSELF?


If you've been following me on my social media channels, like Instagram and Twitter, you know what kind of enormous stress I went through up until my entrance exam day at the end of May. It was absolutely ridiculous. I was hardly sleeping, eating and I blamed myself for every moment spent doing something else than studying. It was absolutely awful.
But for my defence, it was the first time I had my essay accepted and I was invited to the entrance exam. So I wanted to succeed so so badly.

What did I learn about myself?


I could have done with more compliments/support when growing up
I'm going to begin this with the conversation I've had with my mum;
Me: "I'm so good at taking pictures, I should do this for the living."
Mum: "Well, don't get too excited about that."
It's not that my mum doesn't support me, she does, in a really weird and twisted way. Though, these past weeks did make me realise that I'm going to support/compliment my son every step of the way, no matter what he decides to try out in his life because I don't want him to end up not believing in himself.
When someone important tells you that they believe in you, it really does wonders. So don't stop telling your friends and family, that you believe in them.

I do, stress, apparently
I've lived my whole life under impression that I don't stress. And I don't think I ever have stressed about anything this much in my life. It's such a suffocating feeling. You blame yourself for not doing anything, you can't sleep, you can't eat and you think about it every second of the day. So much, that you eventually end up thinking if you should quit and give up, then settle for an education your grandma or grandpa has suggested for you.
"Wouldn't it be time to try something else for a change, if it's not just for you? Have you thought about studying to be a nurse?"

I've got an amazing willpower
Even though I was ready to give up at one point, send an email letting them know that I'm not coming in as I feel I'm going to embarrass myself and spare their valuable time. I actually typed that email once, I just didn't send it.
Despite all the struggles, I fucking did it. I went there, everything went well (I probably jinxed it now) and I really do hope they saw the hard work and effort I put into it.

I can actually code a website, with the right help
My husband has been my rock during the whole process. He made me realise that I'm not as stupid as I think I am and I actually coded a website. With his help, but I typed it all in with my own fingers and I noticed if I had done some flaws in the code which I knew how to fix. After asking for the hubby of course. BUT I DID IT.

I need to believe in myself
This is the most valuable lesson that I learned from the journey and I'm ready to work it out.

So while I'm here trying to turn a stressful event of my life to a positive learning experience, what have you learned about yourself when you're really under the pressure?





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36 comments

  1. Great post. I work full time but am also studying part time and I had my exam yesterday. I am always amazed at how focused I become when I have an exam to study for but mainly I'm surprised at how little sleep I can tolerate! Thanks for sharing, Jill (stilljill.com) x

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    1. It’s amazing how little sleep one can tolerate! Actually insane. I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed reading this post :-)

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  2. Amazing post! So proud of you, I think believing in yourself is always such an important thing!

    Sara | www.copperandsun.co.uk

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    1. Thank you! It's basically the key to everything in life, I think!

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  3. What a great post! Stress can bring out the best and worst in us but I think if you're stressing about something it's because you care about it so much. Believing in yourself is so important!

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    1. It's insanely important! Stress is definitely something else, I don't think I've ever felt it being this intense before. So apparently getting into the school is something I really really want at the moment.

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  4. The lessons you learned were so powerful, and I'm happy you were able to realize all of these fantastic things about yourself. I too often think about the lack of compliments I received when growing up. My family never said "I love you," although I knew they did. And I rarely ever heard "I'm proud of you" from anyone directly, just from people in my family talking to someone else. It was all very odd, but I love that you will make it a point to tell your son these positive things, because I plan to do the same when I have kids.

    Really enjoyed your post, Jasmin!

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    1. I will do the best that I can that my son doesn't have to struggle with the same emotions I've been struggling with when he's going through big choices and things considering his future. It's awful to live in insecurity, if something.

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  5. You've learnt some great lessons and that's great. I think it really helps to move forward. I think being under pressure taught me that I can now manage stress effectively and that i can do it!

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    1. There's some good stress, and bad and I definitely went overboard in both while trying to achieve something I really wanted. I mean, I work best under the pressure but at that point I felt the pressure was way too much for me to handle. It's odd where one is cabable while being under such a high pressure!

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  6. I'm so proud of you for doing it, especially with a young son as well.
    Having support around you can make a world of difference, and it's amazing that you're seeing how you can support D as he's growing up as a result of this experience.
    Lovely post and gorgeous photos!
    Hels xx
    www.thehelsproject.com

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    1. I feel like I would let him down if I didn't support him in whatever he decides to do in his life. I feel like that was such a valuable lesson, that just needed to be shared. It's insane how the childhood one has reflects to ones choices and well, life in general in adulthood. I don't want him to go through the same emotions I did! <3

      Thank you so much Helen, I really appreciate your kind words :-)

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  7. This is a really great post even though I’ve done my exams I understand stress working full time and having a blog can be hard but i know how to take time for myself sometimes is always a need! X

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    1. Taking a break, if it's possible though, is the best thing one can do!

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  8. Great post. It's really important to believe in yourself and have others around you who believe in you too.

    Nicola
    http://nicshealthylife.co.uk

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    1. That sure is the key in so many aspects in life!

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  9. It sounds like a stressful event has given you so many positive lessons too! Well done for working so hard, I hope you get the results you want. I know how stressful exams can be! I hope you are having a well deserved rest now. Great post Jasmin xx

    Bexa | www.hellobexa.com

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    1. I really do hope I'll get into that school haha! It sure was a struggle and yet here I am, trying desperately change it to a positive learning experience. Well, thank goodness I did!

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  10. Really glad things seemed to have went well 💜
    Amy x

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    1. I hope so! I'm keeping my fingers crossed I'll get into that school!

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  11. This is such a personal post. Reading this made me felt like I'm your friend who has known you for years. Thank you for letting us in your world and showing it how it really is. You have learned many lessons and that has made you a strong powerful woman I see in you right now.

    I hope you feel better now. Also, I believe in you :)

    capturesunshine.com

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    1. Ah, thank you so much for your kind words lovely. You have no idea how much they mean to me at this very point in life. I think all the struggles can be turned into a positive learning experiences and that's what I tried to do, I'm happy to hear you saw it that way while reading this. Thank you :-)

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  12. Jassy this was such a beautiful post and it's lovely seeing that you took lessons from your experiences. Just reading your post has enabled me to take a few tips away for myself as well. I think at times we all stress and stop believing in ourselves but as long as we remind ourselves of our capabilities, its all good!

    MJ x
    www.beeingyou.co.uk

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    1. We are able to do so many amazing things if we just simply get our shit together and start believing in them! Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so happy to hear you managed to get something out of my ramble to yourself too :-)

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  13. Oh my God you could be writing about me (except from the coding) I definitely could have done with more support growing up and someone saying you can do anything rather than 'but is that realistic'. I know that my parents always tried their best and wanted to keep me grounded but everything I do I do with a bit of doubt now.
    Sophie - https://sophiehearts.net x

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    1. It's tricky though, trying to keep ones feet on the ground and yet being supportive at the same time! I believe there can be found a golden journey in the middle for that, or I sure as hell hope so, for the future haha. From what I know, based on my experience, the journey hasn't been found from my parents so I'm going to create my own path for sure!

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  14. Your photos are gorgeous as always!! I completely get the part about people being supportive, but not at the same time- my family are a lot like that and no matter how self motivated you are, you need to hear encouragement from people around you sometimes!xx

    Jade | jademarie.co.uk

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    1. THIS, oh my goodness, THIS. I've been ridiculously motivated to everything I've been trying to achieve in life, but it's really easy to fall off track if you're the only one believing in yourself. If you can see where I'm going with this. The encouragement, when it comes from somewhere else than from your own head, is insanely effective and it sure does give the well needed boost for someone to actually achieve something.

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  15. Oh wow this could be me, although I can't code more than a few lines. I could have definitely used more encouragement when I was younger. I was always quite 'book smart' and got good grades so I don't think my parents ever thought they really had to encourage me in that way. But whenever I suggested my career would be something less academic I always got 'is that realistic' which definitely makes me doubt myself from time to time. Good luck! x

    Sophie
    www.glowsteady.co.uk

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  16. A little reflection sometimes is amazing. And hard! Loved the honesty of this post. So tough sometimes.

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  17. Beautifully expressed and I feel its not just about you but practically little here and there but everyone can relate to it.. I really feel that everyone could do better if is supported and encouraged..

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  18. When I was younger I didn't stress at all but as I getting older fear and anxiety regarding almost everything is something that I have to deal with almost every day.Although, under pressure and stressful moments I got the best decisions.

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  19. I think it's great that you're taking a really stressful time and picking out the positives from it! That's how we grow :) You can definitely be proud of yourself now for completing them though!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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  20. A great post, refection is always helpful and something to learn and grown from!

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  21. Congratulations on making it so far!! You put in so much hard work and it's paying off. :) I love that you're realizing just how much you CAN do and that you're not settling on something else that you're not passionate about. Great post. :)

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  22. This is such a lovely post! I love how you've looked back on your experiences and wrote what you've learnt. I'm the kind of person who works well under pressure, but I've learnt that I shouldn't be afraid to leave things to the last minute because sometimes I can get things done asap and I'll be stress free at the end! xx

    amerzwithlove.com

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