2017/10/30

62 DAYS OF FREEDOM


Most of the women know the relieving feeling when they take their bra off after a long day and falls down on the sofa to relax. Most of the women know the struggle of finding the perfect bra to go with their panties, find ones to feel comfortable in and ones that support enough. Most of the women know the feeling after a good jog outside. How you can run as fast as you can, jump over the branches or other obstacles and just run. Run like never before. 
Most of the women know the feeling when they can fully relax in the shower. Most of the women know the feeling when they're laying on the beach on their back and feel comfortable. Most of the women know the feeling when holding their breasts on their hands actually fit into the hand. They fit in your partner's hand. 


The feelings I wrote down above, I don't mean that every single woman has felt that way. I'm not saying that I knew anything about those feelings, as I don't. I've never experienced any of those feelings. 

Today, it's been 62 days since my breast reduction surgery and I feel like all the doors have opened for me. 

I can be without a bra with no problem at all and now I understand, after living in ones, literally, for years - the relaxing feeling that comes when taking them off after a rough day. I'm actually writing this post without my bra on and holy fucking shit I'm not even ashamed. I could live without a bra for the rest of my days.

I've been to bra shopping and I've actually enjoyed it. Enjoyed it so much, that instead of one grandma bra - I'm having 6 of the most beautiful bras I've ever seen and I look damn good in them. I already know how to pick and measure the perfect size, as that's all I've been doing. Before, my bra shopping consisted nothing but measuring and measuring. And realising that the bra I had always dreamt of was only a dream. Sweet, blurry dream in my head that might not ever be true. It's become true now. I can finally choose whatever I want to, even the ones I've always dreamt of as I can finally fit into them.

I can finally run without a pain. I don't have to stand in the shower holding my breasts or cry because my skin was so broken the water hurt like hell. I can buy whatever the bikini I want and I can lay on the beach, on my back without feeling like this one huge piece of boob. My breasts fit into my hand. My breasts fit into J's hands. And what's the most important of all, my back pain is gone. It's like I've woken up from a damn long nightmare.


It's only been 62 days from the surgery and I'm still recovering. The doctor said I should wait for one more month to go to a body pump lesson (or whatever that is called), but there's no worrying for that. I've never been and I don't think I ever will, to be honest. Though, I'm counting for days until my birthday because J promised to take me to a trampoline park for the first time in my life.

The recovery, itself has gone so so smoothly. I'm honestly waiting for some complications or someone to pull the carpet under my feet because nothing has ever worked out for me like this has. It's weird and I'm always on the edge. Though, the scars look perfectly fine. I'm still wearing the tapes on top of them as I'm a pretty psychotic to keep them safe. The first three days after the surgery I took the 600mg Burana & 1000mg ParaTabs combo but that mix got me so messed up and tired. I don't usually take painkillers so that's why they go up in my head like drugs. After the first week from the surgery, I haven't been taken a single painkiller.

I lost a lot of weight after the pregnancy. I lost everything I gained and more, which yea - it's good in a way but now that over half of my breasts are gone it highlights the weight loss. I'm already tired of when people are telling me "oh, you're like a shadow from before", "you should eat more" and "wow, you have gotten so thin!"
Then I'll be like yeah, well, hello. I'm eating like a horse. I eat all the time. Sometimes it feels like all I do is eat. I hardly exercise, I'm basically not doing anything healthy in my life and I still keep losing weight, thanks for asking. I know it will settle at some point, but for fuck's sake stop telling me to eat more or get some flesh on my bones.


Though, I can't remember the time I've felt this happy.
I'm able to go out of the house without a panic attack.
I'm able to put on whatever I want to wear.
I'm able to be me and that feels so damn good.





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31 comments:

  1. Sweety this is so good to read! I am so happy for you. Let the people talk about your weight... I’ve heard it my whole life too! Xo

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    1. Haha thank you! It's annoying isn't it?

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  2. You did the best for you and it's so okay to enjoy your new body. Wish i had the money to do this surgery anytime soon.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words :-) I hope you do!

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  3. I hope you have a complete and healthy recovery. Gorgeous pictures as always :)

    xx
    lau
    www.malibluemymind.com

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  4. So happy for you and all of the doors that the surgery has opened up for you! x

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  5. loved the excitement in your comment on Traveling in stilettos darling! You are definitely an action taker! :)

    xx
    Lau

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  6. Thanks for sharing your experience and I'm super stoked for you!! xoxo

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  7. So happy for you! I can sense your freedom, enjoy all the trampolining you can now!!

    www.chausadventure.com

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  8. I'm so happy for you! Me, on the other hand, have struggled my whole life with small breasts - therefore finding the right bras has been mission impossible almost all of the time... Plus, it's something I'm quite self conscious about.

    Tadeja

    http://www.happynami.com/october-outfits-recap/
    Tadeja

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  9. Thank you for sharing this! It's so important for women who have breast reduction surgery to have their stories heard. I hope you enjoy your new body, confidence, and health xx

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  10. I am so moved by your honesty. I have never really thought about how that must feel. I am sorry that you struggled with that for so long. I am so happy that you are relieved of it now. YAY for snatching that bra off at the end of the day. Yay for happy boobies! Hope you don't mind me saying so lol I adore your blog. I really do.

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  11. Beautiful pictures! Glad everything went well and you are happy post surgery.

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  12. I'm glad you're feeling like your healing is going quickly! I'm sending you lots of healing vibes <3 I LOVE your photos! :D

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  13. Smaller breasts = prettier bras to choose from! I wish you a speedy recovery :)

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  14. I'm so happy to hear what a positive change this surgery has done for your life! Many people don't realize how large breast can be detrimental to women's health and happiness, and I have many friends who deal with back problems and unhappiness because of the size of their breast. Hope you continue to have a good recovery!

    Sondra xx
    prettyfitfoodie.com

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  15. So glad that you're feeling happy in your body & happy with life now after your surgery. That feeling of taking your bra off after a long day is such an amazing feeling and I am so happy for you that you can now experience that also as it's something that I didn't consider may not be an option for some women so thank you for opening my eyes x

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  16. Love reading this, so happy to hear you can enjoy some of the simple things in life again. I hear ya with the weight comments. One thing I've realised over the years is everybody's body puts on or loses weight differently, and it's frustrating because people will make comments about your figure/weight/appearance thinking that everybody's body works and functions exactly the same.

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  17. I am so glad that things are goi g well for you and that your confidence and comfort levels have both improved x

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  18. I can sympathise, although mine aren’t big enough to warrant surgery - just big enough with a small back combo to make bra shopping virtually impossible. Well done to you and o hope the recovery continues to go well

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  19. I'm really pleased for you! Although I can't imagine the pain of having large breasts, as mine have never been very big, your post has shown how much better you feel now, and that is what is important! It must literally feel like a weight has lifted for you! x

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  20. So so happy for you! I can only imagine how difficult life must have been pre surgery. What an amazing decision you made for yourself to have it done xx

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  21. I'm so pleased that you are so happy right now and I hope you get to that trampoline park for your birthday!

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  22. You sound so “free” in this plat, lovely to read that all has gone well and you’re pleased with the results x

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  23. Oh this was so, so lovely to read! I cannot even begin to imagine how much has changed for you now.. enjoy the trampolines!! xx

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